I Shall Be a Flower 2: Stay Put Right There

With frolicking colorful fantasies in my mind,
as I am trying to get closer to her;
Stay put right there!
A flower emits fragrance in one spot.
It will die if a flower leaves its place.
Did she see my ugly picture?
Your scent;
Your look –
just stay there as they are.
Do not make a sloppy copy of
other’s songs,
other’s dances.
Only your songs,
Your dances.
Just drawing any pictures in your head
will be a sin.
When the time comes,
if my ear touches your lips,
Give me a furtive confession.
I will give you a covert forgiveness.
What punishment would you want?

We are too much ahead of ourselves, aren’t we?
We are only just in Chapter 2.
Yeah…

Sin [Gospel of Mary P7:11-28]

A butterfly –
licking a pretty flower,
uncorrupt nature; not a sinner

A sparrow –
Ignoring a sunflower seed in the street;
committing a sin

A man –
not craving for the scent of a woman;
creats a grave sin out of nothing

A wolf –
with lamb’s blood dripping from mouth;
not condemned as a sinner

Not Done Enough

Countless afternoons in her room
Numerous nights in my office
Many times in his chair
Once in a guest room in that convent
Failed in a medium-priced hotel room
Failed in a shabby and cold motel room
Never tried in a car
Not on my bed
Was pretty close in my sofa
Thought about by the nuns’ cemetery
And a few more here and there
Plenty of rotten things in my fantasy
That’s it?
Try to rake out memories from deep corner
Wow
These are stinking skeletons in your deep pocket?
Well, not done yet
You confessed these petty stuff as sins?
You must see a filthy dog in your mirror
Relax
Not done enough

License to Sin

A catechist XXX from Catholicism
has a license to sin
He/she can play around
in any mud with anybody anytime
God will wipe out the filthy stuff from
His/her sensuous body
God won’t say
Don’t get into that mud ever again!
So XXX jumps into the squalid mud
Right after the cleansing-up
This goes on and on in and out of mud
Sacrament of Reconciliation is not
based on his/her repentance, but
based on God’s never-flinching,
don’t-ask and ever-growing love
Too good to be true? But it’s true

My Sin

Which one is my sin –
Avarice or
Indolence or
Both or
Neither?

Having decent life at the mountain’s breast,
Cherishing desire to get to the mountain top,
Avoiding painful exertion of mountain climbing…

Not a sin,
It’s life
Not a sinner,
I’m human…

My Church,
My priest,
My fanatical friends
will condemn me,
will despise me,
will teach me, but
Jesus will say
“What sin?”,

So life goes on
‘Till the very moment of
The end,
Wherever I will be
In my mountain…

Not Afraid of Woman? It’s a Sin. (Mark 6:17-29)

Among those born of women,
there has not risen anyone greater than
John the Baptist, but

he was killed by two women – mother and daughter
in vain.
John was not afraid of King Herod,
how could he be afraid of
mere women? However,

Who could win over a woman who was harboring grudge?
Who could stop a woman who was holding poison in her mouth?
A woman who was sharpening sword for revenge would sheathe it back?

John who was ignorant of woman
and didn’t try to know woman –
The voice of the wilderness that made the King tremble,
was silenced by a woman’s wrath.
What a humiliating death as a man!

What’s so big deal about how to die?
Even Jesus who is God died a horrible death by ordinary men.
If you die a spectacular death,
your ragged life would look greater?
My life might be pretty shabby since I want to die a noble death.

Well, if I try to be afraid of women for the rest of my life,
I might be able to avoid the shameful death of John the Baptist….

The Best Way to Get Crazy

We must never glance at what is good in ourselves, much less ponder over it, but we should search out what is wrong and what is lacking. This is an excellent way of remaining humble. — St. Vincent de Paul

Wow! Jesus Christ!
Only look for what is wrong and what is lacking in ourselves?
How can any human survive this kind of esoteric behavior?
No wonder catholic saints are considered abnormal and/or crazy.
Vincent de Paul doesn’t look like an exception.

Even only looking for what is right in us and what we have wouldn’t be enough
To go through this mine fields of the world.
‘Humble’ is a beautiful word, but for mere mortals, survival is the first.
Nobody can endure his/her real figure and have a decent life.
That is why delusion is a must in our daily lives, isn’t it?

Trying to interpret de Paul’s words in a little bit sinister way,
He is saying we have to strive to become God, which is the same as the original sin.
God gazes at only what is good in us and won’t care about what is wrong in us.
Then why a mere human being like de Paul tries to destroy our already miserable lives
By let us stare into only our dark side?
This kind of teaching might be a conspiracy of the Catholic Church
trying to shackle laypeople to the so-called sin.
Well, Vincent de Paul himself could be a victim too.

Who am I who
Twists the words of a great saint and
criticizes the Catholic Church together?
It’s a dirty job but somebody’s got to do it.