Her dream came true.
It was thought to last forever,
but it was another dream
which costed me a fortune.
It was a pretty long expensive vacation
which I became a little bit tired of.
It was a bitter sweet drama
which was real to me.
It was a play in
which I was acting poorly.
It was a long luxurious party
which I didn’t enjoy very much.
It was a borrowed life
which was not meant to be mine or hers.
How fortunate I am!
I didn’t have my own dream.
I made a fortune.
I got lost
Don’t know what I am heading for
Don’t want to know where my mind is lying on
I no got lost
Never had a destination to look for
Had an oasis up in the sky that my eyes are staring at
Don’t see anything but lifeless stars now
I got lost
Truly a cloud rambling through the sky
Having nothing to search for
Being whipped by a merciless wind
where my shapeless body is lying on
I got lost
Have no clue where this writing is running for
Had a place which my restless spirit is lying on
Now I need to be oriented
I no got lost?
God is unfair.
That is why I am still alive and well!
Thank God! You are unfair!
How can I endure your fair judgment?
You must be blind and deaf, God
You must have some memory lapse as well.
Mere mortals seem fairer than You.
Humans seem to see a lot better than You.
Your creatures seem to hear much better than You.
Even I seem to have better memory than You.
Are you really God, God?
I believe in God who doesn’t look like the absolute being?
But I have to believe in You,
to be alive and well…
Not sure why I am here so
I ask myself, what brought you here?
Jesus, the best trainer in the Universe…
Yeah, I can blame Jesus for all my misbehavior.
I ask Him, why should I be trained?
‘Cause no matter how superior a horse is,
without training, it would be just a wild animal.
So I am a superior horse…
Any normal horse can be a good horse
with good training and discipline.
Well, so whether you are a superior horse or
Just a good horse or a bad horse,
it wouldn’t matter, would it?
Are you not interested in finding your true self?
Even if you turned out not to be a superior horse,
You still can be a good horse after training.
Why should I be a good or superior horse or whatever?
You don’t want to run in the vast plains?
Yeah, but I can run without harsh training and stringent discipline which
would be a shackle controlling my superior power.
Ah! So your power is superior.
Then be a superior horse.
Isn’t it too late to be trained?
When you think it’s too late,
that is the right time.
That is what I heard from the filthy mouth of a homeless man.
You just follow me like a ragged old man.
Don’t try to be smart.
You aren’t smart but are stupid.
Don’t say that you can do it yourself.
You can’t do anything without me.
I am lucky that I believe in God so
I can blame Him for all my failures.
The frightening thing is that God never fails.
Well, it looks like God is in trouble these days, though.
Do you want to become a superior horse or not?
If this is nothing but an illusion, I got nothing to lose.
If this is true, the outcome would be beyond my imagination.
You imagination is extraordinary so believe it.
This is what faith is all about….
Yeah, sounds like New Age stuff.
No matter New Age or Old Religion, this is your life!
At this age
while I am supposed to run on the I-80 in Nebraska
that is as straight as nude model’s legs,
I still have to climb the rocky trail of the Stone Mountain in Georgia.
Well, fretting about a tiny rock wouldn’t be shameful
at this age.
However, if I have to cry out “Do I have to live like this?”,
why don’t I shrink my age
that is just a number and
just walk and relish tiny rocks one by one?
Then I might be able to hear
“Ah! You can live like that
at this age!”
I don’t care
Whether I have wings or not
Whether a rock is hanging on my neck or not
Whether my legs are fettered or not
Whether my heart is still tied to the ground or not
Whether I am standing on the top of 100-story building or not
Whether whatever is blocking my sky path or not
I’ll just jump.
I might fall to the ground and die instantly right after I jump.
That wouldn’t be too bad.
I might be remembered as a moron to the people.
It would be good to be remembered, but
People’s memory is short and
Better than completely forgotten.
This time this thought is not just in my empty head.
This passion is creeping all over my body, soul and spirit.
If I step back, I wouldn’t be considered ‘living’
Just like my life so far.
Nice try, but
Think twice before you jump.
Do you know how ridiculous you look?
You can live happily ever after for the rest of your life.
What is this fuss all about?
Doesn’t it seem a little bit too late?
The New Age stuff must have brain-washed you.
Your God won’t protect you from this hallucination.
I don’t care.
I will test my God.
Don’t push me, couch potatoes!
I will jump on my own!
This is not an entertainment!
This is a desperate cry.
No, this is THE life – my life!
It starts just like the morning of yesterday.
It will end just like the night of tomorrow.
I overhear these words.
“At long last I start to dream a dream.”
“Live long and let the flower blossom.”
“At the hem of the forest, a small flame has started.”
I feel today will be out of the ordinary.
Perhaps it will appear exactly same as
yesterday and tomorrow, though…’cause
Today is alive.
Yesterday is dead.
Tomorrow hasn’t been born yet; maybe never.